Today, a story about finding joy in sketchbooks when you're confused and overwhelmed by life.
Jumping back over a decade to show you this sketchbook, which was from a time when anxiety was taking control of every aspect of my life. I wanted to draw and make art but I’d built up so much fear that it had become virtually impossible. The relationship with my sketchbook was more hate than love but then I had a kind of epiphany. Instead of jotting down quick flashes of inspiration, (like you’re ‘supposed’ to do), I would use the book in the way that suited how my brain actually worked…more plodding. More ponderous.
So, I began filling pages with an eclectic mix of sketches and painted papers, combined with favourite images cut from magazines and found objects; whatever sparked my interest and looked ‘right’. I’d hop from one page to another and back again, over days, weeks, and months, building pages up, thinking about composition, colour and texture. Anything I wasn’t happy with got obliterated with a coat of gesso so I could start over. I didn’t know exactly what I was doing or what it meant but it didn’t matter, because it was all about building a visual language and enjoying the process. Instead of being in a hurry to fill the book and swiftly move on I took pleasure in creating a resource to keep and refer to.
At the time I thought maybe when the book was full I’d go back and recreate the finished pages as ‘actual art’, but it turned out filling the book was a stepping stone on the journey to sketchbook joy and eventually losing my fear of taking pencil to paper - and that was enough.
Watch David Byrne talk with Polly Harvey about their creative process in this inspiring video.
Their insight, or should that be lack of insight was massively helpful to me when I first watched it. It was the first time I realised it's ok not to have all the answers! There are as many ways to make art as there are people and it can take a long time to figure out what's right for you. It can take a lifetime of experiments.
98p daffodils from Aldi have been cheering me up on cold, grey, drizzly mornings. I can see them as soon as the bedroom blind is open, while I sip my first cup of tea in bed. Simple pleasures!
Until next time, have a good week.
Julia x
Isn't it funny how we think sketchbooks are "supposed" to be or look a certain way? When of course they can be exactly what we want /need them to be. I love the look of yours, an artwork in itself. ❤️